BACK WITH EXTRA BITE (AND MORE RELISH)

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Queen Victoria is heavy with the head that wears the crown
Everything looks to be heading South and down
Has the race been run but has anybody won?
Everybody trying to be Australia’s very own racing Don.

The Moody Blues continue in all its many guises
Every bloody day there are some new surprises
Who can win when they’re plotting for everyone to fall
And Shania stands there waiting to be the belle of the ball.

The Plodder keeps waffling on and on
But no one’s listening ‘cos they’ve all packed up and gone
He’s waiting for his fairy godmother
To dig him outta another big hole
But luck’s running out for this mutha
Cos feeding the media is that very big mole.

Bully boy tactics and Frank Underwood games
This house of cards needs to be brought down and shamed
She can no longer be dismissed as that crazy bitch
The more her case drags on she’ll be bloody good and rich.

Big Mike was in the land of the rising sun
It was another free junket with three of his chums
Some are bent and some are straight
Just don’t get lost, mate, before reaching the starting gates

Altogether now: And oh all the petty politics fall all around
They fall like buckets of Purple Rain on the ground
It’s all out there on Twitter and those Emerald covered mouths
And where everybody thinks they have some mighty big clout

Leading the charge is our favourite femme fatale
Yes, Mother Shania’s lurching towards us
Careful darling you might trip and fall
You can’t fool all the people all of the time
Don’t be blind to those tell tale signs.

Lee and Perrin and some Worcester Sauce
There’s more going on there than some dot come clause
It’s a site for sore eyes and Shania’s expensive new toy
Is anybody out there who really likes that darling boy?

“An elite product covered by elite talent” made us laugh and squirm
But what more can you expect from a squiggly self-absorbed worm
If he’s Australian racing’s queen of the hill
Please pass me another of those strange blue pills.

Someone down there’s not doing the maths
The numbers are really way outta whack
The Corporates are laughing all the way to the bank
While Tabcorp sits wondering why their world is about to tank.

Who’s there to put Humpty Dumpty together again?
When will Marty step in and bring about some change?

All the king’s horses, well, they’ve all gone home
But the jokers keep fiddling while racing in Victoria crumbles and burns

And as Bobby Dylan sang many years ago
About that place called Desolation Row
Nobody’s right when everybody’s wrong
Wake up and see the light before- poof- it’s all gone.

Now be good boys and listen to this
Without having anymore hissy fits
The proverbial has already hit the fan
It’s time to get yourself a damn good feng shui man.

Across the border they just look and wait
They can see a state that just hesitates
Two steps forward and five steps back
That’s one dumb assed way to launch an attack.

It’s time to come together and play as one team
Either that or apply some potent acne cream
And just keep scratching where it stings and burns
And keep on making all those Basil Fawlty U-turns.