We were mildly shocked when we saw the fields and riders for the races tomorrow and there was no Colm Donoghue.
Nah, he “bettered his record” of having one ride last Wednesday- and in the last race- to being offered none.
Poor bugger can’t even get suspended. Then again, how CAN he when he can’t get any rides, Einstein?
So, we thought, how can Colm make use of his time in Hong Kong?
Well, our team put their heads together and created this ten-headed monster.
* Become a model in the Fashion Styles The Valley catwalk show at the Beer Garden. He could become the new waif and give Kate Moss a run for her money.
* Go up to Adrenaline, change his name to Colmo and play percussion for Chris Solano and his Latino band.
* Jump on a horse, anyway, and ride it like a man possessed and confuse the hell outta everyone.
* Dance to Thriller before every race in the paddock area, constantly grabbing his crotch and yelling, Yee Hee.
* Don some silks, wear one silver glove and a hat and Moonwalk across the Beer Garden- wearing skates.
* Ring the CSL 1010 bell in time with whoever is performing onstage.
* Appear in the paddock area and offer riding instructions to Zac, Douglas and Tye- and who will listen to his every word.
* Like our old mate Natalis “I never lose” Chan, appear in every winning photo as one of the owners.
* Walk up to every trainer and “do a Jack Nicholson” by screaming, “You can’t TAKE the truth!”
* Let John Size know he can make himself available for any spare rides. Repeat dialogue to John Moore, then spin on one spot, grab his crotch and squeal, “Heee Heee”.
If anyone else has any suggestions, please put them on a stamp and send to us.