(Courtesy of http://www.fasttrack.hk)
It really should somehow be a game show and perhaps called Jackpots And Crackpots or something like that.
After all, there is nothing people in Hong Kong like more than money and over the next week, the Hong Kong Jockey Club offers everyone the chance to become instant millionaires. How?
Well, on Sunday, there is a Triple Trio Jackpot worth well over $20m.
What is a Triple Trio? Correctly pick the first three horses in ANY order in races 4,5 and 6.
Difficult? Depends on your luck.
What we suggest is taking a banker in each of the three races- one horse that MUST be in the first three- and five other picks two of which MUST run into the other two placings.
How much will this cost you?
Around $2,000 for a percentage of the jackpot and which can be shared if you pool your resources with friends.
Then, next week, your Happy Wednesday can be happier if you snag the Triple Trio jackpot available there and which might easily reach over $40 MILLION plus a Six Up Bonus.
What can you do if you win even small percentages of these jackpots?
* Buy the most expensive race horse and call it F.U. If not approved, explain that FU stands for Fortune Universe.
And if this fails, just buy the racing club.
* Tell your current boss that you’ve just bought the company and made him the messenger and promoted the messenger to Chairman.
* Hold your own race meeting exclusively for yourself.
All horses running will be owned by you and every race will be a Cup race. Victoria’s Secret models will present you with their D Cups.
* Start your own protest movement and make it so weird just because you can afford to.
We suggest Occupy Dragon-i, a revolt against some of the revoltingly pretentious arseholes who go to the Club just to be seen and bullshit each other.
* Sit at the Blue Bar. Ask anyone who sits next to you what they do for a living. If they say they’re in “finance” pay them a grand to go sit somewhere else.
* Pay to have Bill Nader, Director of Racing of the HKJC, sing Born In The USA at the Beer Garden while eating a sausage and backed by an Oom Pah Pah band from Munich.
* Now that you own the most expensive racehorse in the world, insist that your silks be exactly like Superman’s costume- including the cloak. You own the Copyright to it.
*Open your own McDonald’s at the 1000 meters start in Shatin and specialize in your own creation- Chicken McMarwings- named after frequent visitor to the Golden Arches- jockey Weichong “Wayward” McMarwing.
DUMBASS QUESTION OF THE DAY
Question: Can I buy every horse in a race to win?
Question: What if they don’t win?